Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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