I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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