hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
