So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
