And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
