i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
