Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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