i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the day after is always just damage control
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize