The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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