i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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