This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
BRING THE BAGELS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
