She said her name was "party"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
