he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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