i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
