who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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