Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize