i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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