Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
