it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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