fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
