White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
