He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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