is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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