You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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