I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
