Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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