Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
