I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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