i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
