cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
