i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
