I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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