you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
