I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
