I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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