She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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