How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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