you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
