Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We left the knife in your bed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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