Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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