so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize