Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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