No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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