I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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