Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
whose parrot is this?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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