i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
