How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
