He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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