The maid of honor just puked.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
