never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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