My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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