I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
