Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
