i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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